I recently read a story of a man who had been going through a very stressful time at work. He realized he had begun to take it out on his family. Searching for a way to release the tension before he walked in his home each evening, he settled on grabbing hold of a huge tree in his front yard each evening. He would imagine all of his frustrations flowing out of him and into the tree. He found that this actually did allow him to calm down and be in a normal frame of mind when he walked in the front door. His relationship with his family healed, but there was also another unexpected outcome. Over the next year, the tree (his "stress tree" as he dubbed it) turned brown and died!
I shared this amazing story with a friend. Her eyes widened, and I could see something click in place in her mind. I thought she was going to comment on how amazing this story was, but instead she said, "I've been a stress tree for other people". She had recently ended a relationship that had become a stressful one for her, partially because she had allowed the other person to use her as their "stress tree". My friend is a loving, giving person, but she realized she was taking on more from this person than she was able to handle--she was in danger of turning brown, like the stress tree!
Think about your relationships. We all want to --and should--be supportive of each other. Just be sure not to carry it to the point of becoming a stress tree. If you turn brown, you will no longer be able to support others. Increase your Return on Life by monitoring how much stress you take on, and by finding ways for it to flow back out before it becomes toxic!
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