Return on Life:Give People a Chance. . .

A chance to change, that is. I know, I know, you are thinking "but people don't really change--we are who we are--leopards don't change their spots." It may be rare to find that another person's true nature changes. However, many people do learn to moderate their behavior or to let go of fears or needs that trigger unbecoming behavior.

What got me thinking about this was watching all the NFL news over the past couple of weeks, relating to Terrell Owens and the Cowboys. Terrell Owens has a history of very self-centered behavior that is destructive to whatever team he is playing for. When he's unhappy, everyone knows it. And it has been the case that if he wasn't getting enough attention, he was unhappy. But I've been watching that behavior moderate over the past several years. Owens will never completely lose the drive to win and the opinion that he should be a central part of that happening each and every game (even on the days he's dropping the ball). However, he has learned, for the most part, to deal with the issues internally.

Unfortunately, the sports media has not noticed this change. When the first report came out that there was dissention in the ranks in Dallas, and as the story continued to be the highlight, not only was Owens not the source of the story, he made not comment whatsoever. Numerous reporters grilled him and lambasted him over and over, almost goading him into blowing up on camera. What they failed to notice was that it wasn't working. Clearly, there was some kind of disagreement--an issue probably raised by Owens. But he did it internally, and kept it internal. He wasn't the bad guy this time around. I really think that although he still may have an overblown opinion of himself, he has matured enough to moderate his behavior. And that should be recognized. The behavior of the sports analysts in trying to force it to become a bigger issue than it really was was ridiculous.

During the holiday season, it's likely you'll spend time around family, colleagues, and friends that you don't see often--and may prefer it that way. Keep your mind open to the fact that people do mature and moderate their behavior. They sometimes realize their past behavior was inappropriate. They develop new attitudes. Don't expect miracles, but give 'em a chance!