Return on Life: Respectful Discourse

One of the ways to increase your return on life is to reduce stress by being more respectful in your communication with others. We are sometimes told not to keep emotions in, to be able to vent. I agree that some venting is helpful and healthy, the other side of the coin is that there is a limit to how much creates any postive effect, as well as constraints involving time and place.

Case in point: McCain's concession speech and Obama's victory speech. Both were delivered in a manner that was respectful of their opponent. We've certainly not always seen this in past elections. Obviously, losing a presidential race, after all the months of long hours, little sleep, money spent, and emotional upheaval, is extremely disappointing, frustrating, even maddening. But it is not helpful to the losing contender's image or to the psyche of their voters to "share the pain". McCain did the right thing to immediately help his supporters to move past the emotion of the moment into the new reality. After all, they can't change the outcome of the election. They can learn from the experience, but the reality is that their candidate didn't win. By openly stating his acceptance of this fact and his support of Obama as President-elect, he helped his supports to do the same.

Obama made a great contribution as well, by acknowledging McCain respectfully. He also acknowledged that there are those who are not supportive of him, but that he promises to be their president as well.

Both speeches were good reminders of the lessons we all learned as kids: Don't be a sore loser, and if you win, don't gloat. At least not in public!

Return on Life: Avoid Jumping to Conclusions

As I watched the story unfold this past week about Tennessee Titans' quarterback Vince Young, I was reminded of one of life's basic rules: don't jump to conclusions. When the first reports came out that police had been called to help locate Young and that Young had been found with friends, just chilling out, there was immediate backlash at the overreaction by Coach Fisher and the authorities. It wasn't until several days later as more detailed information was revealed that it became clear that there was cause for concern.

We see this over and over as the haste to be first with the news results in publishing only half the story. But my point is not to berate reporters and news outlets (not this time around!). Stop and think about how often you react to someone else's actions by saying or thinking, "What a stupid thing to do", or some version of that thought. Is it possible you don't fully understand that person's situation or thought process? One manner of treating others with respect is to begin with the assumption that they came to their current conclusion through some logical thought process. You might not understand that process, therefore their reasoning or decision might not make sense to you, but I'll be you can gain more understanding if you ask.

Reduce your stress level by avoiding the temptation to jump to conclusions. Ask a few more questions, and all may become clear. And, if you think someone is making a bad decision, understanding their thought process in making it will facilitate helping them consider an alternative!