Return on Life: Have some fun!

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to get everything done, we forget to just enjoy life. I was reminded of the importance of just having fun last Friday and Saturday. After presenting a workshop for a planning retreat on Friday, I was invited to stay through Saturday. On the agenda for Saturday was an excellent session on business planning, but sandwiched in between the Friday and Saturday sessions were a scavenger hunt and game time.

What I loved about the scavenger hunt is that it all took place on the grounds of the retreat center (a lovely old mansion near Wheeling, WV) and it really wasn't difficult to find the items. The hunt consisted largely of finding or creating strategically placed costumes and taking team photos wearing them. You can only imagine watching groups of adults ranging in age from 30 to over 50 getting dressed up like cows, emulating the American Gothic painting, and creating Halloween costumes from rolls of plastic and tape. The energy and laughter were only surpassed by an intense game of Catch Phrase a few hours later (if you've never played Catch Phrase, you're really missing out!). It was a competitive group, but no one forgot that the purpose of both of those activities was just to enjoy ourselves --and we did!

Take a minute to look at your life. Are you remembering to just have fun? Not just enjoying yourself, but doing something that will have you doubled over with laughter. If not, figure out a way to make it happen and you'll increase your Return on Life!

Return on Life: Keep on learning!

You never know where your next learning will come from, so it pays to keep an open mind. During a presentation earlier this week (at the Women etcetera! Pittsburgh Conference) as I was discussing attitudes that do and don't help you as you consider life changes, I stated that guilt was an emotion that had no purpose. My thought on this has been that although many people believe that guilt is a motivator when you don't do something you should (or DO do something you shouldn't), I see it as a DE-motivator. Getting stuck in guilt holds you back.

As I finished the thought, a hand went up in the back of the room. Dr. Katie McCorkle (www.drkatie.com) of the Balanced Heart Healing Center begged to differ with me. Although she agreed that it's not helpful to get stuck in feelings of guilt, she pointed out that guilt is an indicator that something is wrong. It made immediate sense. Just as physical pain is an indicator that something is wrong with our bodies, guilt is an emotional pain that something is off kilter in our psyche. So guilt DOES have a purpose--but only as an initial indicator. If it's indicating that you've made a less than stellar decision or taken an action you regret, use that indicator to decide whether you need to make amends and then move on, or just simply accept the situation and move on. Either way, don't stay stuck in the guilt stage. Moving past this stage quickly will have a positive impact on your Return on Life. Thank you, Dr. Katie!

Return on Life: Sometimes it's the small things!

It all began with a cup of coffee. One cup of chocolate mocha coffee, with 2 teaspoons of sugar. I drink a couple of cups of coffee every day--in the morning. But this one was consumed Sunday afternoon at 4:30 p.m.--an hour or so after my usual caffeine "cut-off" time. But it was a cool fall afternoon, perfect for a hot drink, and I love anything chocolate. I was happy.

Until 1:30 a.m. that is. I was able to go to sleep initially, but woke up several hours later and could not get back to sleep until after 4:30 a.m. And had to be up at 6! I know that's what caffeine does to me but I just didn't think about it at the time. Well, of course I was tired on Monday, then was up late because we had dinner out with my husband's clients, had to be up and out the door early on Tuesday, was up late Tuesday to watch the Presidential debates and recap, then out the door by 6:45 on Wednesday.

By then, having had 3 nights in a row with too little sleep, I was like a walking zombie. When I went to make coffee Wednesday morning, I put two scoops into the coffee maker, then realized there wasn't enough ground, so I poured more whole beans--but not into the grinder. No. Into the coffee maker along with the ground coffee already in there. That's when I realized what I'd done to myself and how impaired my functioning was.

So, Wednesday night I went to bed early, got a good night's sleep, and couldn't believe how much better I felt. I popped right up out of bed on Thursday, alert and ready to go. Sometimes, what gives us a better return on life is something huge, life changing. Other times, however, it's the little things that can make a big difference. Give some thought to the little things you do that could have a big impact in increasing your Return on Life! You can bet it will be a long time before I drink a cup of coffee after about 2 p.m.!

Return on Life: Volunteer!

Last Saturday I got up at 5 a.m., had a quick shower and breakfast, and arrived at the set-up area for the Northern Allegheny County Chamber of Commerce Classic, a half marathon and 5k road race. This is the race I began training for last spring, then had to abandon. I decided that if I couldn't run, at least I could devote the time to help out.


In addition being pretty darn early for a Saturday morning, it was about 40 degrees, dark, and raining when I arrived. Sounds like a prescription for a grumpy morning, doesn't it? What I found was a whole group of friendly, energetic people setting things up for the runners. As runners began to arrive, there were more smiles and good feelings--even when the biggest crush of runners who had not preregistered arrived about 15 minutes prior to the starting time. There was not one cross word or even a frown anywhere to be seen.


When 5k runners began to finish and half marathon runners ran by on their first and second loop, we cheered each and every runner. Not all of them acknowledged our support, but many did. As they finished, we waited at the end of the finish line chute, ready to clip the plastic ties holding the timing chip on their shoes. And, for those who didn't trust the ties and had laced the chip in, we untied the double knots so they didn't have to bend down (energy they didn't have at that point!!). I can't tell you how many of those runners made a point to say "thanks for volunteering today," or "thank you for your help."


Looking back, although I'd have like to have been IN the race, I'm absolutely glad I offered to help. It was only a few hours out of my weekend and I know I made a difference. I also got to meet some new, interesting people--the other volunteers.


You've heard, many times, that volunteering helps you feel better about yourself. It's absolutely true. And it doesn't have to be a huge, ongoing commitment. Even a one-shot deal will make a difference for you and those you help. So, the next time a volunteer opportunity arises--take it. I promise you won't regret it!

Return on Life: The Power of Realistic Expectations

Prior to leaving town for nearly a week recently, I stopped by the post office to fill out one of those big yellow cards requesting that our mail be held until our return. Since I wasn't certain what day we would arrive home, I marked the box requesting that it be held until I picked it up. A day later, we made a definitive decision to return on a Saturday. Immediately I thought, "Wow, it would be great to have that week's worth of mail delivered on Saturday--I can go through it while watching NFL football on Sunday, and be ahead of the game." So I stopped back by the post office to request that change. Rather than finding the card I'd already filled out, the clerk handed me a new card, explaining that rather than him going to look for the original one, I should just fill out a new one and they would see both and be able to resolve the difference, and our mail would be waiting for us Saturday when we returned.

I probably don't even need to tell you that our mail was NOT waiting for us when we returned. I picked it up Monday instead. In the past, I'd have been all bent out of shape about the inconvenience, the postal service incompetence, etc. I'd have developed a grumpy mood. But by now I've learned, in situations like this, not to expect that it will turn out right. It would have been a pleasant surprise had the mail been waiting for us! I've also learned that although I might have insisted that the clerk find the original card, because I was about 95% sure it wouldn't work the way he thought, some issues are not worth causing a hassle over. Sometimes it pays to be the more accommodating party. It's not at all about lowering your standards, it's about being realistic.

Think about what makes you grumpy when it doesn't work the way it should. Is it a situation that's worth insisting on, or is it one you can let go, realizing that it's not likely to ever work exactly the way you want, and that's okay!

Return on Life: Avoid Jumping to Conclusions

As I watched the story unfold this past week about Tennessee Titans' quarterback Vince Young, I was reminded of one of life's basic rules: don't jump to conclusions. When the first reports came out that police had been called to help locate Young and that Young had been found with friends, just chilling out, there was immediate backlash at the overreaction by Coach Fisher and the authorities. It wasn't until several days later as more detailed information was revealed that it became clear that there was cause for concern.

We see this over and over as the haste to be first with the news results in publishing only half the story. But my point is not to berate reporters and news outlets (not this time around!). Stop and think about how often you react to someone else's actions by saying or thinking, "What a stupid thing to do", or some version of that thought. Is it possible you don't fully understand that person's situation or thought process? One manner of treating others with respect is to begin with the assumption that they came to their current conclusion through some logical thought process. You might not understand that process, therefore their reasoning or decision might not make sense to you, but I'll be you can gain more understanding if you ask.

Reduce your stress level by avoiding the temptation to jump to conclusions. Ask a few more questions, and all may become clear. And, if you think someone is making a bad decision, understanding their thought process in making it will facilitate helping them consider an alternative!

Return on Life: Be "in the moment"

Life coach Diana Fletcher (www.dianafletcher.com) teaches us that less multitasking is actually better for us. I had a reminder this week of just how true that is. This past Wednesday morning I was in a hotel room in Flushing, NY, getting dressed and ready for a presentation at 8:00 a.m. At 7:20, I finished the oatmeal and coffee I'd had delivered to save time, and stepped outside the room to set the tray in the hallway outside. You can probably guess what the next sound was that I heard. Exactly. The click of the door to my room as it shut behind me! Did I mention I was traveling alone? There I stood, thankfully clothed except that I was in my stocking feet. No ID, no room key.

I realized at that moment that I had let my mind become too busy thinking about the presentation. You see, I'm normally the one that checks three times to be certain that my keys are in my pocket, every time I leave the house. And probably check four times when I'm away from home! But because I was not thinking about what I was doing, I didn't even think about the fact that the door would close if I took one more step to the left...

Fortunately, they sent security up (quickly, I might add) and allowed me to show my ID AFTER he let me in the room, so I didn't have to traipse down to the marbled hotel lobby in my bare feet. However, by not paying attention to what I was doing--not staying in the moment-- cost me between 10-15 minutes that would had been valuable at that point in time and helped me feel more calm as I headed down for my presentation.

As you go through your day, stop and think: Are you living in the moment, or are you caught up in a past or future moment. Focus on where you are now, one thing at a time. It will lower your stress level and increase your return on life!