Getting rid of guilt

I hope you've given some thought to what you want your life to be this year. You may have even begun working on some specific goals that resulted from that thought process. If you have, rest assured that at some point you will fall short of your expectations of yourself. Perhaps you've decided to exercise 5 days per week, or stick strictly to a diet. The first time you miss an exercise day or eat something not included in your diet, what do you think will happen? GUILT will set in.

About two years ago, I came across the comment that guilt is a wasted emotion. I had to think hard about that one. It was difficult to consciously decide NOT to feel guilty (I guess I felt guilty about not feeling guilty?). But I finally decided that this made sense. Guilt, contrary to what we are often taught, is not a helpful emotion. It gets in our way. It keeps us from getting back on track and moving forward. Deciding not to feel guilty doesn't mean you don't have a conscience, it just means that you won't get stuck feeling badly about not being perfect.

If you don't meet your own expectations, rather than spending time feeling guilty, figure out what went wrong and renew your commitment to the expectation you have set. Or decide that the expectation was unrealistic and adjust it. Either way, make a decision and move on rather than getting caught in the guilt trap. If the guilt involves an interaction you've had with someone else, make amends and then move one.

This year, when you don't meet your own expectations, skip the guilt stage. Focus on your "I want my life to be" statement, and you'll find that you begin to create a greater Return on Life.