Return on Life: Another way to make it through the cold and snowy winter

This is the time of year that many living in areas that experience winter begin to get weary. Bundling up to stay warm, scraping ice and snow off the car, being extra careful not to fall or have a wreck, etc., etc. It can really wear you out! That is, if you focus on it and think about it.
Now, after reading that last sentence, you may be thinking "well, it's there, right ouside my window. How can I not think about it." The way you do that is that when an ugly thought about the cold, snow, wet, and discomfort comes into your mind, just realize that it's there, and then consciously think about something else. It's really just that simple. You're really just redirecting your attention to something that you feel better thinking about. It takes practice, but it's simple to do. And, as you practice, it gets easier.
I know this because although I've never really had this issue with winter, I've had it with other situations I couldn't change. Once you realize that it's your choice what you think about, the next realization is that you can choose a thought different than your current thought.
That next thought might not be "I love winter" (I don't think it's really helpful to try to fool yourself), but it could simply be "I'm going to read a good book" or "I love my family, they're wonderful". Just think about anything other than the fact that you hate winter. By the way, it also works with other situations you can't change and don't like! You'll be surprised at how much more content you'll be with life over time by practicing at redirecting your thoughts.

Mayor Bloomberg points out the bright side

Last Friday brought up to a foot of snow to the Northeast. Even if you escaped the worst of it, this is the time of year that winter can become the nastiest in many parts of the country. And we develop that dreaded disease: Cabin Fever!

I was so excited to read Saturday's news account of the storm. Not because it revealed, as you would expect, that there were hundreds of accidents, over a thousand cancelled flights and lots of other "fallout" from the 6 inches that fell in New York City alone. No, I was excited due to the reaction of New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Given that we can't control when, how or if winter storms arrive, he gave New Yorkers 3 reasons to feel better given the circumstances:

1. It snowed Friday, which left the entire weekend to clean things up.
2. He announced that free hot chocolate would be available at one park in each of the city's 5 boroughs.
3. He further announced that this same park would offer free sled rentals!

Now, that's making lemonade out of lemons! Or fun out of ice and cold, or something....

So, even if you can't enjoy the snow by being in it, enjoy the beauty and have some hot chocolate indoors where it's warm! Thank you, Mayor Bloomberg!

Forgiveness is really for YOU (not the other guy)!

Our newspaper today had a "Dear Abby" type letter about parents who disagreed about what action to take regarding a friend of their son. The friend had been quite a troublemaker and ended up in a detention facility for multiple felony convictions. Both parents felt that the friend had a negative impact on their son--their son's actions tended to be influenced by the friend. The father felt that the friend should be forgiven, and upon his release from the detention facility, allowed to spend time with their son. The mother felt that their son should not be allowed to hang out with the friend.

Reading this letter made me realize how we get mixed up about what forgiveness is, and how it can and should be applied. To forgive simply means to renounce anger or resentment against. In the past, I thought forgiveness was for the person being forgiven. But it's not. It's actually for the person DOING the forgiving. In fact you can forgive someone without them even knowing about it. When you forgive someone, it allows you to move on rather than remaining stuck at the point of the issue that needed the forgiving. And, often, before you reach the point you can forgive someone, you are hurting yourself more than you are having an effect on the person you have yet to forgive.

At the same time, you can forgive someone and still choose not to have further interaction with them. This was the real issue the parents needed to decide. Yes, they should forgive the friend, as that means they decide to discontinue harboring negative feelings--feelings of resentment--toward him. But they still may choose to have their son spend his time around other friends rather than this one, at least until such time as they are comfortable that the friend has matured.

Think about whether you have someone to forgive, even if you choose not to resume a relationship with them. Forgiveness frees your mind and your heart from the weight it carries. Extending forgiveness allows you to increase YOUR return on life!

Don't be the one to turn lemonade into lemons!

With all the rain we've been having the past few days, I'm reminded of an incident that serves as a perfect example of how we all get caught up in the negative side of things--even unimportant little "happenings".

Any time I park in a parking lot, I leave a few empty spots so that I am a few steps farther from the door. You see, I LOVE ice cream and chocolate but I DON'T love having to buy larger clothes, so this is one of the ways I can offset my intake. I parked that way at our office building one day last fall. As I got out and walked the 40 feet to the door, a gentleman who works in another office of our building was entering at the same time. He said, "You couldn't have parked much farther from the door, could you?" So I responded, "Well, I love ice cream and this way I can eat more". I thought I'd get a laugh from that.

But no. He couldn't give up that easily! His response was, "Well, you'll probably be sorry later when it rains!". I couldn't believe it. As far as I know, I don't melt when I get wet, so I was still happy with my decision. But I didn't say anthing else, because I really didn't want to know how far he would go to cast a negative light on my fitness trick. I din't want his negative attitude to impace my positive one.

Over the next few days, listen to yourself. See if you catch yourself trying to turn others' lemonade back into lemons. If you are, go back to the lemonade--and don't let anyone replace YOUR positive thoughts with negative ones either!