Return on Life: MORE Communication is sometimes the answer

Often, when we read about how to improve communication, we are encouraged (and very rightly so!) to remember that we have two ears and one mouth by design. Listening more and talking less definitely leads to improvements in communication. At the same time, sometimes it helps to share more. Here's an example shared by some friends who have now been married many years:

The first year they were married, they acquired an electric blanket--the kind with separate controls for each person. This worked wonderfully for them, as he preferred a low temperature while she preferred a toasty warm setting. All was well that first winter. However, when the second winter came around, when the blanket went back on the bed. In the process, the controls were placed on the wrong sides of the bed--the control that was handy on the husband's side was actually plugged into the wife's side of the bed, and vice versa.

The first night, the husband was too warm, so he adjusted his control to reduce the temperature. The wife was too cool, so she adjusted hers up, to be warmer. This went on for a number of days, with each of them attempting to adjust their own temperature while accomplishing exactly the opposite. He was ready to bake while she felt like a block of ice. But neither said anything, just suffering in silence. Finally, one mentioned to the other of their discomfort, they figured out what was going on, and switched the controls back to their rightful owners.

So, sometimes, more communication is a good thing. If you have an issue or concern, it doesn't normally help to just internalize it. Complaining about it is not the best way either. But DO state what your problem is and seek help. Don't freeze or cook for days on end with no one else aware of the problem--some issues don't solve themselves after all!