Return on Life: In Difficult Times, Choose to Lead

I've been reading lately about workplace negativity. Given our current economic climate, workplace negativity is on the rise and it costs companies millions each year in productivity. One book in particular focuses on how to build a workplace with high morale ("Building a High Morale Workplace" by Anne Bruce). The book includes a discussion of the two types of managers that emerge in a crisis: those that get stuck in the crisis, unable to rebound from it, and those who rise above it all, refusing to be defeated.

Clearly, the managers who rise above help everyone around them move through the crisis more quickly. They do it by being well prepared, knowing how to mobilize help quickly, and by deliberately drawing on the passion, energy and inspiration of those around them. They keep everyone well informed and tell the truth. So by being proactive and focusing on what is going well and what can be done going forward to deal with the situation, rather than dwelling on what has gone wrong, they help everyone become more productive again much more quickly.

What I realized as I read this is that it is not just the manager (or other official leader) who can take on this role. Even if you are not the official leader of a team dealing with difficult times, you can be an "unofficial" leader by adopting the same attitudes of proactivity and looking toward the future. In this difficult economic time, the stress and strain of lost jobs, increased work load due to reductions in staff, and limited access to credit, focus on being part of the solution. Be sure you don't get stuck in the worry and negativity, but focus your time and attention on what IS good (and there's a LOT that is), and what can be done to deal with the problem areas.

You'll be amazed at how your mood lifts, and the effect it has on everyone around you - at work AND at home!

Return on Life: Realistic Optimism

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I am very much an optimist. You know that I believe that we can all accomplish more than we would ever imagine if we dream big and follow our hearts. However, as much of an optimist as I am, I am still a realist and you need to be as well. Don't ever limit your dreams, but don't forget to consider the facts. Case in point:

In traveling via airplane, you may be optimistic that you will be allow to actually carry all of your carry on luggage with you, stowing it IN the plane with you rather than pre-checking it or even yellow tagging it as you board the plane. That's a good, positive way to think. However, you have to also deal with the facts. If your suitcase is 24" long and has a hard plastic, fixed handle, it WILL NOT FIT in the 20" deep overhead bin unless there is enough room to turn it lengthwise. Being optimistic that you can jam it in there is not dreaming big. It's just unrealistic.

What WILL happen if you try to make it fit by slamming the bin door shut is NOT that your luggage will magically shrink and fit within the closed bin. What WILL happen is that the bracket on the door will break. You'll have then succeeded in delaying the flight for about 3o minutes, which is how long it will take to get the maintenance men out to diagnose the situation and install a new bracket. Trust me, I watched it all happen last Thursday! The reason I share this is that when we are completely unrealistic (not fact-based) in our dreams and plans and then things don't turn out the way we had hoped, we tend to develop a jaded view of dreaming in general. I don't want that to happen! We need our dreams and our inspirations to even BEGIN to achieve all we're capable of.

So dream big, but don't forget the facts. And the next time you're on a plane, don't try to force the door of the overhead bin--you'll still have to check your bag, and in the meantime, you'll make yourself and everyone else late!

Return on Life: There's always a positive side. Really.

Today started out as "one of those days". You know, the kind that can make you wish you had just stayed in bed. The kind that usually result in a grumpy mood and nastiness to those around you.

It began as I went downstairs, on my way out the door for a meeting. I'd made it halfway down when my foot got caught in my pant leg and I came that close to taking the remaining steps headfirst. Instead, I just pulled a muscle in my back.

Then I drove to Panera Bread, bought a hot Ginger Peach Tea and sat down to wait for the other person to appear. Before I even took a drink of the tea, I knocked the whole thing over (fortunately away from rather than on me). It sure takes lots of napkins to sop up an entire to-go cup of tea.

When I left Panera, I stopped by the grocery store on the way home to buy a couple of items, including a bottle of balsamic vinegar. Made it home ok, got out of the car, picked up the bag with the balsamic vinegar, and dropped it on the garage floor (darn leather gloves). Smash! All that beautiful balsamic vinegar all over the place. And it's not even 10:30 a.m. yet.

You haven't lived until you've mopped your garage floor in 18 degree temperature, cleaning up a substance that's about the same color as the oil and dirt already there from the messy winter we're having. I'd have loved to have waited, but it's not supposed to warm up for a week, and although I love balsamic vinegar on my salad, that fragrance is definitely not a positive addition to an enclosed garage. A little too much of a good thing, I guess.

After finishing the mopping, and washing the other groceries that were covered with balsamic vinegar as well, I decided to just sit at my desk and touch as few items as possible, since they were bound to end up being spilled, broken, or at least just on the floor. Other than the usual fighting with the computer to get it to cooperate, it's calmed down since then, thank goodness.

Oh, and what could I possibly find to be good about the sequence of events from this morning? Why, I only whacked my head once on the car mirror while I was mopping! See, there's always a positive side. Really.

Return on Life: Remember that you're in charge

I hope you had the opportunity to hear President Obama's inauguration speech today. If not, be sure to listen to it soon. In part, it was a great reminder that each of us needs to contribute on our own behalf and that of others in order to achieve what we are truly capable of.

A recent newspaper column by Dr. Richard Shearer (January 14, 2009, Barbour Democrat, Philippi, WV) that made essentially the same point by observing the differences between "worrying" and "being concerned." Dr. Shearer gave examples of worry weighing us down while concern stirs us to action. Worry can cause us to freeze and take no action beyond worrying, while concern can help us think about how to deal with a failure, how to create a right out of a wrong, how to improve rather than get stuck in the negative.

Let's join President Obama in creating a nation of "doers", those who act out of concern, rather than a nation of "worriers" who do nothing to advance the situation. It takes each of us, individually, doing our part. Let's just see how far we can go!

Return on Life: Moving toward the life you desire

Are you excitedly planning your new year--setting new goals, new directions new projects? Or are you rolling your eyes at everyone else who is engaging in this futile behavior yet again? With every new year, I see people in both camps. Some are chomping at the bit for January 1 to arrive, for a fresh start. Others are busy resolving not to make any resolutions.

This time of year is indeed a good time for reflection. Many of us have some time away from work, and once Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Ramadan, or whatever we celebrate has passed, we find some down time before re-engaging fully.

When you hit that time this year, if you are feeling less than excited about identifying huge life-changing initiatives, try taking a different tack. Simply give some thought to ways to continue to move toward the life you desire. The key words here are "continue to move toward." Life is truly a journey, a process. We often frustrate ourselves and feel inadequate because we haven't yet figured "it" out. Or we don't know what the end result is or should be. The point of life is not being at a perfect place that we cant' quite figure out but we know it must exist. The point of live IS the journey. Yes, we all want to achieve more, to improve, to be better. Just be sure to mentally relax and enjoy the process of getting there!

Dr. Wayne Dyer says it best: "Your purpose in life isn't to arrive at a destination where you find inspiration, just as the purpose of dancing isn't to end up at a particular spot on the floor. The purpose of dancing--and of life--is to enjoy every moment and every step, regardless of where you are when the music ends."

Perhaps that would make the very best New Year's resolution!

Return on Life: Sticks and Stones...

Many of us remember the childhood saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." We sort of laugh as we say or think of this phrase, but President George W. Bush has provided us a live example. Over the weekend, during a press conference in Iraq, an Iraqi reporter threw his shoes at President Bush. In Iraq, this is insult of the highest order, as the soles of your shoes are the lowest, dirtiest part of you. The gesture loses some of its impact, however, when the shoes are thrown at a non-Iraqi. Clearly it's an indication that the thrower disagrees or is angry with the target, but it just doesn't carry the impact intended.

Knowing the venomous intent with which the shoes were thrown at him, President Bush could have felt highly insulted, angry, hurt. He chose instead to react with a little humor (stating that he could duck the shoes successfully due to his practice ducking reporters questions), and to move on. If you are not of the Arab world, it's easy to see why it wouldn't be such a big deal. But what if someone had spit in Bush's face (or yours for that matter)? Americans would see that as a much higher insult, decrying the act, feeling extremely insulted.

So here's the question: What if you were able to choose to view interactions that someone intends as insulting the way President Bush viewed the flying shoes? What if you were able to choose not to allow someone else's words or actions anger, frustrate, or hurt you? The fact of it is that you DO have the ability to choose that view. It can be your choice not to legitimize another's attack on you by refusing to react in anger or frustration.

The next time someone hurls an insult at you, see it as a flying shoe and laugh it off just like "W" did!

Return on Life: Smile!

Smiles are amazing. Remember that old song "Smile, and the whole world smiles with you?" It turns out that the song, originally written in 1928 by Larry Shay, Mark Fisher, and Joe Goodwin, was exactly right. Recent studies show that if you smile at someone, they are likely not only to smile back at you, but to also smile at others they encounter afterward. One smile could conceivably travel the world!

These days, there's plenty to be glum about--potential job layoffs and cutbacks in Holiday giving just to name a few. All the more reason (while you're making decisions and adjusting to current situations) to share a warm smile with everyone you encounter. Not to pretend that the world is perfect, but simply as a way to share positive human contact. On a recent airline flight, I had to change carriers at the last minute due to a delay in the arrival of what should have been my flight home. I could tell the ticket agent was stressed (a stern look and a frown were my first clues) at trying to sort everyone out without making an error. I smiled as I explained my situation and asked for her help. That, and patience on my part as she sorted it through helped her end the transaction with a smile herself. She even chuckled and smiled at a fellow ticket agent. Who knows how far that smile travelled!

It's not about keeping a fake smile plastered on your face twenty-four hours a day. Just focus on a brief smile to each person you encounter during the day. Not only will it travel far and wide, it will warm your heart at the same time!

Return on Life: Abundance Mentality at Work

I've written previously (January 31, 2008) about what Steven Covey calls "abundance" mentality, which is basically an attitude that suggests that there's plenty to go around for everyone, that someone having something doesn't preclude us from having it as well (money, love, happiness, etc.). It also includes the idea that sharing can be a positive experience for everyone involved.

In today's news, we have a real-life example of abundance mentality: The Spungen family, former owners of Peer Bearing Co. in Chicago not only sent turkeys home with their previous employees, they included sizable checks (a total of $6.6 million between 230 employees!) from the proceeds of the sale of the business earlier this year.

Now, I'm not imagining that they didn't keep anything for themselves. But no matter how much they netted, no one expected them to just give away nearly $30,000 average to each employee. How often have we seen, in recent months, CEOs who not only would never entertain such a thought, they are busy laying off employees and begging the government (read taxpayers) for bailout money while declining to forgo their multi-million dollar bonuses.

So, hooray for the Spungen family. They are the example we all should emulate. What's interesting is that not only are the former employees happy, as you would expect, but amazingly, so are the Spungens!

How can you be more abundant in your mentality? Give it some thought!

Return on Life: Be Flexible With Holiday Traditions

Yes, I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, much less Christmas, but we're getting there quickly! Having lunch with a friend yesterday reminded me of one of the ways we can all reduce stress and truly enjoy the holidays.

My friend Michelle loves Christmas. Every year she puts up not one, but three decorated trees (one of them is probably fifteen feet tall and greets you in the two-story vaulted entrance to her home), assembles a model train layout, and bakes cookies which she shares with friends and family. She thoroughly enjoys it all. However, this year she has been traveling extensively both for business and pleasure and has been busy, busy, busy with a very quickly growing business (she has become a best-selling author with her first book!!). It's been an exciting time for her, but has just about used up her energy reserve--mental and emotional as well as physical. As she thought about putting up all the Christmas decorations, instead of total excitement, she began to feel overwhelmed. Many of us, at that point, would begin to feel frustrated that we were too tired to create our traditional holiday time. We'd feel guilty and sorry and sad. What Michelle decided to do instead was to create a new tradition--to change her paradigm. She decided that she will perhaps put all the trees up only every other year, and this year won't be one of them. She allowed herself to change without getting stuck in thinking that this would make her holiday less than what it should be.

Holiday traditions should be fun, warm, comforting. Don't let them become sources of frustration and guilt! If you have a tradition that can't or won't work this year, increase your return on life by creating a new one!

Return on Life: Respectful Discourse

One of the ways to increase your return on life is to reduce stress by being more respectful in your communication with others. We are sometimes told not to keep emotions in, to be able to vent. I agree that some venting is helpful and healthy, the other side of the coin is that there is a limit to how much creates any postive effect, as well as constraints involving time and place.

Case in point: McCain's concession speech and Obama's victory speech. Both were delivered in a manner that was respectful of their opponent. We've certainly not always seen this in past elections. Obviously, losing a presidential race, after all the months of long hours, little sleep, money spent, and emotional upheaval, is extremely disappointing, frustrating, even maddening. But it is not helpful to the losing contender's image or to the psyche of their voters to "share the pain". McCain did the right thing to immediately help his supporters to move past the emotion of the moment into the new reality. After all, they can't change the outcome of the election. They can learn from the experience, but the reality is that their candidate didn't win. By openly stating his acceptance of this fact and his support of Obama as President-elect, he helped his supports to do the same.

Obama made a great contribution as well, by acknowledging McCain respectfully. He also acknowledged that there are those who are not supportive of him, but that he promises to be their president as well.

Both speeches were good reminders of the lessons we all learned as kids: Don't be a sore loser, and if you win, don't gloat. At least not in public!

Return on Life: Have some fun!

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to get everything done, we forget to just enjoy life. I was reminded of the importance of just having fun last Friday and Saturday. After presenting a workshop for a planning retreat on Friday, I was invited to stay through Saturday. On the agenda for Saturday was an excellent session on business planning, but sandwiched in between the Friday and Saturday sessions were a scavenger hunt and game time.

What I loved about the scavenger hunt is that it all took place on the grounds of the retreat center (a lovely old mansion near Wheeling, WV) and it really wasn't difficult to find the items. The hunt consisted largely of finding or creating strategically placed costumes and taking team photos wearing them. You can only imagine watching groups of adults ranging in age from 30 to over 50 getting dressed up like cows, emulating the American Gothic painting, and creating Halloween costumes from rolls of plastic and tape. The energy and laughter were only surpassed by an intense game of Catch Phrase a few hours later (if you've never played Catch Phrase, you're really missing out!). It was a competitive group, but no one forgot that the purpose of both of those activities was just to enjoy ourselves --and we did!

Take a minute to look at your life. Are you remembering to just have fun? Not just enjoying yourself, but doing something that will have you doubled over with laughter. If not, figure out a way to make it happen and you'll increase your Return on Life!

Return on Life: Keep on learning!

You never know where your next learning will come from, so it pays to keep an open mind. During a presentation earlier this week (at the Women etcetera! Pittsburgh Conference) as I was discussing attitudes that do and don't help you as you consider life changes, I stated that guilt was an emotion that had no purpose. My thought on this has been that although many people believe that guilt is a motivator when you don't do something you should (or DO do something you shouldn't), I see it as a DE-motivator. Getting stuck in guilt holds you back.

As I finished the thought, a hand went up in the back of the room. Dr. Katie McCorkle (www.drkatie.com) of the Balanced Heart Healing Center begged to differ with me. Although she agreed that it's not helpful to get stuck in feelings of guilt, she pointed out that guilt is an indicator that something is wrong. It made immediate sense. Just as physical pain is an indicator that something is wrong with our bodies, guilt is an emotional pain that something is off kilter in our psyche. So guilt DOES have a purpose--but only as an initial indicator. If it's indicating that you've made a less than stellar decision or taken an action you regret, use that indicator to decide whether you need to make amends and then move on, or just simply accept the situation and move on. Either way, don't stay stuck in the guilt stage. Moving past this stage quickly will have a positive impact on your Return on Life. Thank you, Dr. Katie!

Return on Life: Sometimes it's the small things!

It all began with a cup of coffee. One cup of chocolate mocha coffee, with 2 teaspoons of sugar. I drink a couple of cups of coffee every day--in the morning. But this one was consumed Sunday afternoon at 4:30 p.m.--an hour or so after my usual caffeine "cut-off" time. But it was a cool fall afternoon, perfect for a hot drink, and I love anything chocolate. I was happy.

Until 1:30 a.m. that is. I was able to go to sleep initially, but woke up several hours later and could not get back to sleep until after 4:30 a.m. And had to be up at 6! I know that's what caffeine does to me but I just didn't think about it at the time. Well, of course I was tired on Monday, then was up late because we had dinner out with my husband's clients, had to be up and out the door early on Tuesday, was up late Tuesday to watch the Presidential debates and recap, then out the door by 6:45 on Wednesday.

By then, having had 3 nights in a row with too little sleep, I was like a walking zombie. When I went to make coffee Wednesday morning, I put two scoops into the coffee maker, then realized there wasn't enough ground, so I poured more whole beans--but not into the grinder. No. Into the coffee maker along with the ground coffee already in there. That's when I realized what I'd done to myself and how impaired my functioning was.

So, Wednesday night I went to bed early, got a good night's sleep, and couldn't believe how much better I felt. I popped right up out of bed on Thursday, alert and ready to go. Sometimes, what gives us a better return on life is something huge, life changing. Other times, however, it's the little things that can make a big difference. Give some thought to the little things you do that could have a big impact in increasing your Return on Life! You can bet it will be a long time before I drink a cup of coffee after about 2 p.m.!

Return on Life: Volunteer!

Last Saturday I got up at 5 a.m., had a quick shower and breakfast, and arrived at the set-up area for the Northern Allegheny County Chamber of Commerce Classic, a half marathon and 5k road race. This is the race I began training for last spring, then had to abandon. I decided that if I couldn't run, at least I could devote the time to help out.


In addition being pretty darn early for a Saturday morning, it was about 40 degrees, dark, and raining when I arrived. Sounds like a prescription for a grumpy morning, doesn't it? What I found was a whole group of friendly, energetic people setting things up for the runners. As runners began to arrive, there were more smiles and good feelings--even when the biggest crush of runners who had not preregistered arrived about 15 minutes prior to the starting time. There was not one cross word or even a frown anywhere to be seen.


When 5k runners began to finish and half marathon runners ran by on their first and second loop, we cheered each and every runner. Not all of them acknowledged our support, but many did. As they finished, we waited at the end of the finish line chute, ready to clip the plastic ties holding the timing chip on their shoes. And, for those who didn't trust the ties and had laced the chip in, we untied the double knots so they didn't have to bend down (energy they didn't have at that point!!). I can't tell you how many of those runners made a point to say "thanks for volunteering today," or "thank you for your help."


Looking back, although I'd have like to have been IN the race, I'm absolutely glad I offered to help. It was only a few hours out of my weekend and I know I made a difference. I also got to meet some new, interesting people--the other volunteers.


You've heard, many times, that volunteering helps you feel better about yourself. It's absolutely true. And it doesn't have to be a huge, ongoing commitment. Even a one-shot deal will make a difference for you and those you help. So, the next time a volunteer opportunity arises--take it. I promise you won't regret it!

Return on Life: The Power of Realistic Expectations

Prior to leaving town for nearly a week recently, I stopped by the post office to fill out one of those big yellow cards requesting that our mail be held until our return. Since I wasn't certain what day we would arrive home, I marked the box requesting that it be held until I picked it up. A day later, we made a definitive decision to return on a Saturday. Immediately I thought, "Wow, it would be great to have that week's worth of mail delivered on Saturday--I can go through it while watching NFL football on Sunday, and be ahead of the game." So I stopped back by the post office to request that change. Rather than finding the card I'd already filled out, the clerk handed me a new card, explaining that rather than him going to look for the original one, I should just fill out a new one and they would see both and be able to resolve the difference, and our mail would be waiting for us Saturday when we returned.

I probably don't even need to tell you that our mail was NOT waiting for us when we returned. I picked it up Monday instead. In the past, I'd have been all bent out of shape about the inconvenience, the postal service incompetence, etc. I'd have developed a grumpy mood. But by now I've learned, in situations like this, not to expect that it will turn out right. It would have been a pleasant surprise had the mail been waiting for us! I've also learned that although I might have insisted that the clerk find the original card, because I was about 95% sure it wouldn't work the way he thought, some issues are not worth causing a hassle over. Sometimes it pays to be the more accommodating party. It's not at all about lowering your standards, it's about being realistic.

Think about what makes you grumpy when it doesn't work the way it should. Is it a situation that's worth insisting on, or is it one you can let go, realizing that it's not likely to ever work exactly the way you want, and that's okay!

Return on Life: Avoid Jumping to Conclusions

As I watched the story unfold this past week about Tennessee Titans' quarterback Vince Young, I was reminded of one of life's basic rules: don't jump to conclusions. When the first reports came out that police had been called to help locate Young and that Young had been found with friends, just chilling out, there was immediate backlash at the overreaction by Coach Fisher and the authorities. It wasn't until several days later as more detailed information was revealed that it became clear that there was cause for concern.

We see this over and over as the haste to be first with the news results in publishing only half the story. But my point is not to berate reporters and news outlets (not this time around!). Stop and think about how often you react to someone else's actions by saying or thinking, "What a stupid thing to do", or some version of that thought. Is it possible you don't fully understand that person's situation or thought process? One manner of treating others with respect is to begin with the assumption that they came to their current conclusion through some logical thought process. You might not understand that process, therefore their reasoning or decision might not make sense to you, but I'll be you can gain more understanding if you ask.

Reduce your stress level by avoiding the temptation to jump to conclusions. Ask a few more questions, and all may become clear. And, if you think someone is making a bad decision, understanding their thought process in making it will facilitate helping them consider an alternative!

Return on Life: Be "in the moment"

Life coach Diana Fletcher (www.dianafletcher.com) teaches us that less multitasking is actually better for us. I had a reminder this week of just how true that is. This past Wednesday morning I was in a hotel room in Flushing, NY, getting dressed and ready for a presentation at 8:00 a.m. At 7:20, I finished the oatmeal and coffee I'd had delivered to save time, and stepped outside the room to set the tray in the hallway outside. You can probably guess what the next sound was that I heard. Exactly. The click of the door to my room as it shut behind me! Did I mention I was traveling alone? There I stood, thankfully clothed except that I was in my stocking feet. No ID, no room key.

I realized at that moment that I had let my mind become too busy thinking about the presentation. You see, I'm normally the one that checks three times to be certain that my keys are in my pocket, every time I leave the house. And probably check four times when I'm away from home! But because I was not thinking about what I was doing, I didn't even think about the fact that the door would close if I took one more step to the left...

Fortunately, they sent security up (quickly, I might add) and allowed me to show my ID AFTER he let me in the room, so I didn't have to traipse down to the marbled hotel lobby in my bare feet. However, by not paying attention to what I was doing--not staying in the moment-- cost me between 10-15 minutes that would had been valuable at that point in time and helped me feel more calm as I headed down for my presentation.

As you go through your day, stop and think: Are you living in the moment, or are you caught up in a past or future moment. Focus on where you are now, one thing at a time. It will lower your stress level and increase your return on life!

Return on Life: Link Goals to Core Values

In order to set meaningful goals that you truly care about achieving, you need to ensure that there is a link between your goals/actions and your core values. A college professor in a workshop I conducted recently for a small college in West Virginia provides a perfect example of this. We'd gone through an exercise where each individual identified the 5 values that resonated most with them, then identified a goal for the coming year. The next step was to consider whether the goal had a link back to one or more of the values.

One professor offered that at first glance, his goal didn't match up, but in his mind, he could see the link. Here's what he said: "I have a goal of improving my health. My top value is achievement in my field. At first glance, those don't seem exactly related, but I know that my health is becoming an issue."

He had it exactly right! He realizes that he has to take some steps to improve his health, and that it is important to him because if he doesn't, he will not be able to live his highest value of achievement. Each time he takes a step to improve his health (eat a proper meal, exercise, etc.), he should remind himself that he is doing it so that he will be healthy enough to continue to advance and achieve in his field. That's the core value that will drive him. For someone else, health in and of itself might be the highest value, but for him, it's the achievement. By making the link in his own mind, he'll be more motivated to stick to his "get healthy" goal.

What goals do you have? Can you link them back to a core value for yourself? Let me know what you think!

Return on Life: What can we learn from "What not to Wear"?

As you watch the 2008 Summer Olympics, keep your eye out for U.S. swimmer Tara Kirk. Tara was the focus of a "What not to Wear" makeover which aired July 25, and she'll be looking great! "What not to Wear" fascinates me, partly due to the great fashion ideas, but even more so from the psychological aspect. I love watching the transformation the participants go through in one week in terms of the psyche as much as their physical appearance. And many of them accomplish the transition kicking and screaming all along the way.

That's where Tara was different, and it's a great lesson in the difference your attitude makes. Her appearance was transformed as much as any other guest on the show. But her attitude was in the right place from the start. Instead of arguing that a certain style wouldn't work, or having a meltdown when she tried something Stacey and Clint suggested, she listened to their suggestions, internalized the dos and dont's, and when the first few items didn't work, she kept trying--without getting emotional about it. It was not difficult to see why she is an Olympic athlete. She approached change with an open mind and persevered in the face of obstacles.

Think about your own reaction to change. Do you go along, but only under duress, or do you embrace the possibilities and treat it as an opportunity for improvement? Do you give it one shot, but then immediately abandon the whole idea if it doesn't immediately work out? The same attitude that helped Tara make the U.S. Olympic swim team can help you soar in your life as well!

Return on Life: Be a leader, not a complainer

How often do we all read or hear a news account of a talented star athlete gone wrong? Literally on a daily basis, we read about DUIs, assaults, drug related arrests and more from professional athletes. We shake our heads and sigh, or complain--and move on with our lives. One former professional athlete has decided to DO something about it. Michael Irvin, former Dallas Cowboys superstar and NFL Hall of Famer--and former bad boy himself--has, over the past several years mentored several of the current NFL problem players. And now he's gone a step beyond that.

He convinced NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to bring all the NFL rookies to Hall of Fame activities in Canton, OH. By doing so, he hopes to help these young players grasp the bigger picture earlier on in their careers. And Goodell enthusiastically agreed. Irving is choosing to be a leader.

Think about people and situations that are not going the way you believe they should. Are you merely complaining, or is there a way you can influence the situation? Complaining and casting blame is much easier, but by making the choice to be a leader, you can truly help create a better Return on Life for everyone involved!